Step 1) Get a basketball
1.5) Get some shaved ice in a large bucket & get a companion to be with you.
2) Get some hooks you can screw into wood & run a rope through.
3) Get some rope.(1)
4) Get a flat piece of wood about 1/8 to 1/4 inches thick that's about 4 feet long & about 18-24 inches wide.
5) Stand on top of wood as you would on a skateboard.
6) Take a sharpey & outline your feet.
7) Attach a couple of hooks at the front & rear of each foot's contour line.
8) Grab your board & your basketball & don't forget yourself & go stand at the top of some stairs.
9) Run the rope through the hooks & around your feet so as to secure & bind your feet tightly to the board.
10) In one swift & perfect move, leap yourself up on top of the basketball & balance the board, & hence yourself as well, on top of the ball.
11) Now pivot yourself on top of ball so that the front foot is pointing down towards the bottom stair & such that most of your weight is on the forward foot.
12) Have your companion throw the shaved ice at you at random frequencies from various angles.
13) If you'd like you could skip the rope & hooks & just use a nail or staple gun to bind feet to board. But that involves blood & more pain. Your choice...
If you can do all this & not fall off of the ball or fall down the stairs....you can then attempt to snowboard.
When people say they spend most of the time on their rears whilst learning snowboarding...it's worse than that. It truly becomes "I've fallen, & I don't want to get up. Save yourselves & I'll just lay here crumbled up in a tired & exhausted & sore heap of I'm not 20 anymore." I think I did more push ups to stand up than all push ups done by the peons at a military boot camp in a year. And this was after taking a lesson & trying things out on the slope.
For me, I've spent my whole life with my feet existing separately & independantly from each other. To have both feet buckled down onto a board is quite foreign. Conceptually I could not get past that barrier. Boarders...have a great time....I'll stick to the simplicity of skiis. I've rediscovered muscles that I thought might have fallen off long ago......MEDIC!
Until later comes, turn it up to ouch.
Monday, February 12, 2007
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1 comment:
I always felt like I was less likely to seriously injure myself on a snowboard, but more likely to bruise myself. On skiis, I often felt like i was going to tangle my legs and break a knee.
Now I always snowboard...so i've gotten over the constant falling stage.
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