iHums & other gibberish

Update 12/5 10:30 am
Determined to resolve the abnormal & not 60Hz noiseage hum/buzz he tried to once again awaken the sleeping paper weight. It clicked to life & there was that already dreaded sound. In a seemingly random fashion he began to rapidly turn each of the numerous knobs their range of travel back & forth suspecting that there possibly could be some corrosion or other particles of crud in the pots. A bit of success was found in that the annoyance dissipated & was no longer. But the jiggle of the wiggle of a cord unto the orafice of input jack still produced the nasty growls that must be tamed & silenced. He also did notice that there were 4 screws on the top of the amp that seemed to be the gate keepers of the mystery contained within the head portion of the thing. So he armed himself with the driver of screwiness & proceeded to enter the journey unto the land down under the hood. The key master successfully merged with the gatekeeper & the deep hidden mystery was revealed....There sat on top was the jack of input soldered onto the board of circuitage in 4 places. It would take further surgery to levitate the region of jack attack to infiltrate the situation & go covert & assimlate unto the culture of solderage...If the secret intelligence gathered is accurate, penetrating those 4 core positions & voiding their influence upon the situation would allow for the insertion of a new & better equipped operative to better handle the future transmissions. A brief check of intelligence information reveals that the needed equipment for the operative is available & appears to look like:


He carefully began his return trip from the land down under the hood & applied the driver of screwiness to cause the gatekeeper to resume his position & to ensure that the hidden mystery does remain a hidden mystery to all who approach. He prepares his report for his superiors to review & establish the needed mission codenamed Jack-In-The-Box. A brief intelligence inquiry brought forth 2 wisdoms: 1) There's a place here in town that could deal with the amp 2) A person there suggested that it might possibly be a solder joint gone bad/cracked where a simple touch up might suffice. After further contemplation this might in fact be the case for how else does a jack of input not used very often decide to just barf?

End Update
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And after his wife departed for work for the day he once again mounted the chair of bitdom. He proceeded to utter an search amidst the land of google. He found the wisdom to send an email to DiMarzio support to inquire to either confirm or correct his suspicions about why the PAF Pro & FRED pickups were not sending forth their anticipated signals unto the land of ampdom thereby causing much froth & lament within him. He uttered the inquiry & then patiently waited whilst pursuing the norms of preparing for the typical workaday Monday. Upon arriving at the land of cubicleocity he conferred with yet another bitdom interface device. And there sat was the reply to the inquiry to confirm that which he had already sent along to the support of the technicalities. His whole being filled with preparedness to await the treacherous journey home through the hills & over the woods. He was also met with goodness of the package which contained the highly secret & anticipated devices sent forth from far across the world from Russia. He was poised & ready to once again embark with nose of needle pliers, the wand of great low wattage heat & the core of rosin from the land of solder. Amazed at the complexities of the numerous wires running forth amidst the cavity of wiredom he stopped to consider the surgeons who work on far more delicate tissue with far more complex routings of body stuff. He finally completed the needed surgery to bring to life the now installed PAF Pro Neck & partner FRED bridge pickups. He then approached the then slumbering black beast of noisedom with the aforementioned secret devices. He had to be careful for the beast could awaken at any time & devour him in a moment. He had to act swiftly & with precision to attach the secret glowing tube devices. All things appeared to be assembled so with blue wild thing in hand he plugged the needed appendages between the black beast & the blue thing. All systems appeared go & so he did the only thing he could which was activate the black beast. He waited the needed moments for the slumbering one to come to life and....and....he was met with the annoying hum that he set out to conquer with the new secret glowing tubes. He twiddled with the input jack on the black thing of hummage & discovered some very interesting sounds of loud squawking & squealing. So the beast of hummer seems to have won this round. And it appears that one would need to replace the input jack which appears to be quite embedded & enshrouded in mystery. But before considering that to be the cause of the spewage of hum-de-dum he casts his gaze upon the previously referred to black heat shield protecto thing which when one thrusts his great strength upon this stronghold the hum appears to cease for but just a while. But that could just be a plan of mockery & trickery by the black 80 watt paper weight. He could hang his head low in lament & snine & whibble or he could keep trying to find the source of the spumming hewage the black thing utters. He does consider that his options are approaching zero rapidly & he might have to concede & transport the beast, under heavy sedation of course, unto the land of $60 an hour techie service to try to find the source of the treacherous mocking mockery.

Until later comes turn it up to....whatever.